flameinthedarkness

"No! No! No! That's all you're getting!" OMG! Idia's free hand coming up to tug at his hoodie, pulling it as far as he can over his face to try and cover it, leaning away from Cater more... but not letting go of his hand either.

"Why did you do that?!" It clearly being all Cater's fault.

"Awww, come on!"

He can't help but laugh--he doesn't mean it badly, of course, and even as Idia hides himself he still doesn't let go of Cater's hand, which tells him that he isn't too mortified.

"I just wanted a picture of you all pink and cute, but this is even better!"

"NO!" Stop it, Cater! He can't tug that hood any further! It's not his normal, deeper one! Stupid dressing up. He never is again. Never ever.

"OMG stop! You're horrible!" Idia is never suggesting photos again. Ever.

Cater somehow manages to whine even as he's still got laughter in his voice, all but leaning full bodily into Idia's side. "Don't be like that! Come on, how can you be mad at a face like this?"

He bends his body to try and sneak a peek into where Idia's hiding in his hood, giving him his best kittenish smile.

"Easily." Idia snaps back instinctively... then lets out a sigh, regretting it as soon as he said it. That was harsher than Idia had meant it to be. "...sorry." Another huff of a sigh before Idia stops mucking around with this all, not trying to hide any more.

But also now has Cater leaning into him. Which is another problem. "Um... you, ah, going to stay there?"

It is harsh, so even though Idia follows it up with an apology he still flinches in surprise, teasing expression falling into something a bit more awkward. "No, no, I'm sorry. Too far, huh?"

When his position is pointed out, Cater steps off. His phone stashed away once again, he rubs the back of his neck. "I won't do something like that again without your permission."

"No, no, it's just..." Idia's head dropping as Cater steps back, grip going loose against Cater's hand as he tries to pull his hand back. To try and hide again. This was such a waste of Cater's time. Why was he even bothering with Idia? He's such a failure at everything.

"Sorry... sorry... totally wasted your time today..." This was just his true colors after all, right? He's an asshole. Idia knows this. He knows he doesn't know how to talk to other people. The fact Cater has tolerated him this long... of course Idia would ruin it all.

This was all such a mistake.

The extreme reaction to his own apology isn't something Cater was expecting, so he's a little flabbergasted when Idia speaks. He catches fast to his hand before he can take it away. "What are you talking about? Hey, look at me for a sec."

Smile absolutely wiped off his face now, he waits patiently for Idia to at least look in his direction before speaking again. "You didn't waste any of my time. You could tell me right now that you changed your mind about me, and I'd still be happy we had today."

This is a mistake. This is a mistake. This is a mistake. This is a mistake. This is a mistake.

What the fuck is he doing here?! None of this meant anything! It's one thing making distractions for himself, but to drag someone else into it?! What the fuck is wrong with him?! Idia shouldn't be dragging Cater down with him! Cater should find someone else to do this all with. There was plenty who would. It's pointless anyways. Nothing could come from this.

And he doesn't get it. At all. Of all the people Cater could spend his time with, "Why you even bothering with someone like me? All I do is treat people like crap." Whether Idia realizes he is or not. A lot of the time he doesn't even realize he is until he's told he has.

"If that was true, I wouldn't," he responds, reaching for Idia's other hand to try and make his classmate face him. "Sure, sometimes you're a bit caustic, but they say actions speak louder than words for a reason."

He knows that well enough. He can give platitudes up and down while meaning exactly none of it. Talk someone up and want nothing to do with them. At the end of the day, that's probably worse and he knows it. Cater would rather lead someone on out of convenience than tell them like it is and make his day-to-day more difficult.

"You do plenty of nice things for people you think deserve it."

Idia doesn't fight it this time as Cater takes his hands, just passive to this all, head down, not moving. Those are all nice things coming from Cater, but right now none of them are sticking, just sliding off Idia, he fighting back the need to break down...

Get yourself together.

Stop it.

Idia letting out a slow breath as he composes himself, yet... it feels like a mask has slipped down over him again, a bit too calm now compared to moments ago. Putting on one that allowed him to get through this.

"I'm fine. I'm ok." This voice reflecting that stillness to him now. And Cater had called it right in the past, just how hollow those words were... but served a purpose.

Another moment to breath before, "Sorry. For what I said and... all of this."

Cater waits, shaking his head when Idia finally seems to gather himself. "I get it, really."

But...he realizes that Idia probably wouldn't believe that. Sure, he knows that Cater wears a mask, that he's not the big social butterfly everyone thinks, but that's a far cry from relating to the kind of self-deprecating mood swings Idia's shown himself prone to.

"Sometimes I can't stand myself."

It's an almost abrupt admission. Cater hadn't intended to share this part of himself today--or ever, with anyone. Even saying it, he feels a shock of tension course through his body. He takes a breath, looking down as well before looking up again through his lashes and the locks of hair that have fallen across his face.

"So...if you aren't fine, that's fine. You don't have to be."

A pause...

Then, "Pfftt, join the club." But it broke Idia out of that numbness of his. Then an actual, more animated sigh, more signs of 'Idia' showing up again; his shoulders slumping, fingers tightening on Cater's, his face actually showing expressions again, even if it's that of tired annoyance. Then, "...I mean like... self hate thing, not hating you... yeah... realized that after I said it that could be, ah... taken that way..." Idia really is not good at this...

"Guess then can... be fucked up together?" Was that something? Idia's not sure. Before adding, "Seriously though, call me out if I'm being an asshole, ok? I, ah, I don't always realize I am. Ortho tells me I'm really bad at that..." Not with those words, of course, from Ortho, but that disappointed tone and shake of his head at his big brother.

Cater chuckles lightly. "Yeah, don't worry--I figured that's what you meant. Or else, if you didn't, I was about to have some even more concerning questions."

He smiles a little, the corners of his mouth twitching, but still feels like it's too sobering of a mood to switch on his joking and flirting. "Seriously though to your seriously though, you haven't been an asshole. I mean, not today. I just thought I made you uncomfortable for real. So...how's this for an idea: we both tell each other if we've taken something too far. No exceptions."

Ah. Yeah. Idia did play up his insecurities, even if they are rooted in something very real, easier to keep people away. It's going to be a hard habit to break... and he goes to open his mouth to expand on that, to suggest it's all too big for right now, to talk about later. But when Cater says that, Idia gives a sigh and a nod.

"Yeah, yeah, that sounds good." But still... "Ah... this, ah, all... talk for... after our first talk." If it ever comes to that. They may both decide that today was a one off and... that's it. And, yeah, Cater was right in what he had said; even if this was all they had... Idia had liked it.

Another squeeze to Cater's hands as that pressure of this all was really starting to feel too heavy. "I'm going to be so drained from today..." Gods, Idia just wants to collapse into bed.

"Sounds good," Cater repeats, starting to feel exhausted, himself. It isn't Idia's fault, really--he has his own insecurities about all of this, about himself, but hadn't anticipated the lid slipping off the jar he sealed it all away in so soon. Guess for all their chemistry, there's that negativity feeding into one another to worry about, too.

Still, it doesn't feel as catastrophic as it would if he were alone. Just another reason to dread getting back. "Tell me about it," he agrees. "I think we just demolished a whole week's worth of social energy at once."

And there's the shuttle rolling in around the corner.

A glance as the bus drew near them, Idia debating it it was too much to say this, to try and joke around considering they both were running on empty, but... "Better have enough still left in your batteries, you still owe me that tropey yawn and arm around me thing."

But yeah, Idia's feeling today catching up on him, though as he shifts he can feel those gifts Cater had given him and Ortho, that cake he had got for Cater still on the ground to give to Riddle. If this was their last chance alone, though it didn't seem many, if any, were going to NRC with them. "Thanks Cater. Really. For today."

"There you go, totally blowing my final surprise for the day..."

Cater sighs in that dramatic, whining fashion, so clearly the joke wasn't unappreciated. Still, his smile is soft when Idia follows up with that final sentiment, nodding in return. "You too, Idia. I know it wasn't easy for you." But he showed up, despite his fear. He stuck it out. That's not something Cater's going to forget.

When bus rolls to a stop and the doors open, Cater grabs the pastry box and heads up the stairs. It would be easier to navigate if he wasn't holding Idia's hand, but he stays latched on with determined insistence, walking slower to allow them to sidle their way toward a seat in the back.

A shake of Idia's head at Cater's stubbornness, that need to hold on to him still, but Idia will work with it to get them both on board and into a seat. Even if this all raises another important question, looking down at their joined hands.

"So, ah... what we gonna do once, um, once we get back? Like... with walking into school?" How were they going to play this? This did feel part of that talk to come, but they really needed to figure out an answer before that. At least for this.

Once they're seated, Cater naturally finds himself looking at their joined hands as well. He hums when Idia voices the question that's on his mind as well, giving a one-shouldered shrug.

"It's up to you, really," he decides. "It doesn't bother me if anyone sees us together--not for any reason. Earlier, in the arcade, I hid us from that classmate because I was worried about how the attention would affect you. So..."

He gives Idia a chance to take that much in before finishing. "I won't be offended if it's too much--especially right now."

Oh. Hmmm. Idia taking time to think that over quietly for several moments as the bus got started on their return trip. Eventually though, "I'm not sure. Not yet. I... guess see how it feels once there?" He really wished he had more to offer, to have a decisive choice but... he really doesn't. At all.

A soft huff of a 'pfft' out from him, "I normally try to always have a plan and all of today I've had none..." It's so weird.

"That's alright--just lmk." In the meantime, Cater yawns, finally relinquishing Idia's hand so he can...yep, stretch his arms up over his head and then settle his arm around the other boy's shoulder. Totally smooth. "Tell me about it. I mean, we really took the train off the rails."

"K. Will do." Yeah, they were in this together, right? And while Cater says he's fine no matter what... really? Won't it bring down his rep to be seen with Idia?

Idia's still silent as he thinks it over, before glancing up as Cater pulled his hand free, confused for a moment before, "Pffft, really?" Yeah, ok, Cater's been joking about this since that day they actually turned this into a date, Idia doing his best to not jump or twitch as that arm went around his shoulders. It's... "Heavy." But, "Nice." It's been a long time since he's had this much contact with another person. Outside Ortho, of course. And again noting how very different it was to Ortho, that weight and size difference, the heat that was slowly seeping between their layers, the fact there was tiny movements to Cater's arm that Ortho's never had. It so very obvious that Cater was a living, breathing being doing this.

"Hope you didn't blow all your plans on the first date and got nothing to follow it up..."

"OMG...calling me heavy," Cater teases in mock offense...but he only grins wider as he settles in, the super cheesy action actually feeling nice once they both get comfortable. Considering they've already kissed twice, this hardly feels inappropriate.

"Ye of little faith. Just because I played my sleeve ace faster than I expected doesn't mean I don't have our second date already in the works." He winks, adding, "And besides, that's not counting Ortho's Big Day Out."

"An issue if you're that fast normally..." Idia mutters out before he can consider if a good idea or not.

But moving on, "Yeah, do want to get that sorted for him. He always wanted to go to a park, but thinking some sort of scavenge hunt? He really likes puzzles and mystery books, so think he would like having to work out where to go next." Would need a bit of planning, making sure places around the town were willing to work with them on it.

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