flameinthedarkness

Just in case they run into anyone along the way, Cater keeps the act going...or, well, he intends to. But then Idia asks that question and the fraying tethers can't hold his mask in place. They snap, and he looks exhausted as he stares ahead of them. It's quiet, save for the sound of their footsteps.

It would be best if he didn't answer. He could easily pretend he didn't even hear what Idia had said. Doable enough to just lie and say it wasn't a big deal, or make some kind of comment about how he had no idea what Idia meant. The last one would be easy to call out, but it would set a boundary.

Setting up walls was what he did, after all, and it would be for the best to make sure he keeps them nice and fortified with Idia, when their relationship with one another was already so complicated. Their online chatter was more than enough, so what did he need any of this for, anyway? And yet...

"Yeah," he finally says in a small voice. "Some days I don't really have it in me to bother."

I'm such a fake.

...ah. A sigh, "I guess not everyone can be a shut in..." At least Idia can hide on the days he just doesn't want to deal with anyone. There were consequences to that, between having to be there digitally via his tablet, or having to play catch up with school work that had higher expectations on him than others, proving he wasn't falling behind. But... it was preferable to Idia. In contrast to that constant feeling he was being judged... he was at least safe in his room, even if he had to work more. And hey, he knows how to work, he's good at that.

He can't even imagine doing what Cater does.

But it doesn't mean he doesn't feel... bad? Hmm, was it bad? For pointing that out? He's not sure. It's... something at least. So in that same tone as that sigh had been let out in, "Yeah, well... you do it well?" That... that was a compliment? He thinks? He meant it that way. Even if it didn't come out that way.

Yeah, Idia doesn't know how to help cope with heavy stuff, at all, because he doesn't. He breaks down, freaks out, then forces himself out of it and carrying on. What he does know though, "...my hair goes orange as well." Is distraction. So here, Cater, him throwing out a line for you to grasp onto and forget about stuff for a bit. "When I'm angry."

Torn between conflicting emotions, Cater lets out a puff of air, something between a chuckle and a sigh. "Thanks. I've had plenty of years to practice."

It doesn't make him feel better, but he gets it. For Idia, this is probably the most comforting response he can expect. Not that he was expecting anything or fishing for comfort, of course. It's weird enough already just letting someone see him as anything less than silly, laid back, clout-chasing Cater Diamond.

Slipping his phone back into a pocket, Cater fishes out some cash for the vending machine.

"Yeah? You get angry very often?"

The change in topic is appreciated.

Idia's reaction to that is subtle, but Cater is good on picking up subtle, especially if it's different to how a person normally is; a slight exhale of breath from Idia, the lightest 'ha' within it, but soft and easy to miss. A brief laugh. Not at Cater. But at his reply. Yeah, that's about right, isn't it?

"Oh, gamer salt is always real, even for me." Idia throwing that out there, trying to keep it casual, ignoring that it wasn't just trigger by anger. His nightmares were the main cause, when he couldn't force his brain to stop and it got away on him. "Plus... I can do it at will. Tease Ortho with it." Who found it very funny and not off putting at all. And Idia loved seeing Ortho happy and laughing.

"Takes a bit of the sting out of it, in that case." Cater smiles slightly, "I was gonna say I'd hate to see it if it meant seeing you pissed off, but maybe you'll feel like teasing me sometime."

He's trying to lighten the mood, but it's...it's odd, isn't it? He gives them both an out as they reach the vending machine. "Lollipop? Or in the mood for something different?"

"I don't even know how I would tease you." Really, not at all. Though maybe it's because Idia is now thinking about it in person, as he has been joking with him as Cinder and Gloom. But that was a different realm, that was online, not face to face, it was easier to put aside the fact you were talking to a person that way. Idia does realize he is not good with interacting with others, he just doesn't care. Normally. But, well, he doesn't want to say something that he thought was fine and turns out to be insulting to Cater. Ortho tells him he does that a lot, even if Idia doesn't realize he does. Like, well, just now with calling Cater out.

"Hmmm, oh, they got those spicy and sweet snacks left? The bright red ones?" Since he's not planning on handling books anymore, no need to worry about snack dust.

Cater laughs at that, even though it's just a statement. He's certain that Idia is now one of the few people who could really tease him, if only he wanted. "Oh, yeah, they do. Those sound pretty good, actually! I think I'll grab some for myself, too."

Sweet in minimal amounts is definitely fine, especially when it's paired with spicy. Being a hound for spicy foods, Cater's definitely up for trying anything with a spicy mixture. Selecting the product, Cater fishes out a bag for the both of them.

"Anything to drink?"

"The yogurt drink." Idia doesn't mind spicy, but also to counter if as needed, but these snacks were just too good even if spicy. That weird addictive mix of spicy and sweet. He may had even tried them due to Cinder's recommendation, found he liked them more than he thought he would. Just not while working. Too messy.

Waiting while Cater sorted the stuff out, Idia pauses to think... hmm, eh, should he say it? He really doesn't know. Was it too much? Ehhhh, but... well... he did kind of like this. Hanging out. Before... you know... he acted like a fucking idiot!

...maybe better not to for awhile. Ehhhhh...

"Um... about today..."

Switching to the drink machine, Cater grabs the yogurt drink for Idia and a canned coffee for himself. He passes it off before cracking open the top of his own. "Yeah? What's up?"

Cater tells himself to stay cool. Maybe Idia's going to say that this was a terrible idea and they shouldn't hang out in person anymore, and if that happens...well, Cater only has himself to blame. He's the one who got all weird, right?

Whatever happens, they'll still have their online friendship. Maybe it's for the best, even if he feels a stone dropping into his stomach.

Ehhhhhhhhhh... just spit it out! Get it over and done with! It's going to be cringe no matter what! So just get it done and out of the way! Idia's expression betraying his thoughts, though for Cater it may look like he's angry enough to just end this all, despite taking the drink when offered.

"...there was too many people." There, done. "I-If," Ehhh... "If there weren't, ah, I, ah... wouldn't had wanted to leave so quickly." Him snapping was one thing. But having others see him do so... that was worse. Idia doesn't care about losing his temper, he cares about others seeing how he is when he does, his gaze down on the drink Cater gave him, as he turns it around and around in his hands.

"...is it weird to want to hang out somewhere with... less people?" He really doesn't know. After all, isn't that kind of the point in meeting up in person? To be around people? He doesn't know.

When Idia finally manages to get his thoughts out, Cater can't help the surprised look that lights up his face. Surprise and then...relief. He grins, eyes crinkling. "No, that's not weird at all! I'd really like it if we could hang out again."

Hmm. It's hard to really find any space alone around NRC. There's always hustle and bustle, people scoping out good spots for magic practice, but that doesn't make it impossible. Thoughtful, Cater taps a fingernail against his coffee can.

"You ever go into town? It's way more low key than campus."

Town? Ah, "Ah, ah, um, no, I haven't..." Was it weird he hasn't? Then again, was it a surprise Idia hasn't? He barely comes out of his room, let alone leave campus. He hadn't even considered it! Though... he hears some in the dorm talking about stuff there. Like an arcade he's heard some go to, which... Idia's never been to one before. He thinks he would like to though. Just, ehhhh... it's SO far out of his comfort zone. Could he really go that far outside?

And even if he did consider it, "It's such a pain to get there..." The bus and all that.

"It's not that bad," Cater says with a shrug, breaking into his snack and taking a second to munch. "It's a pretty short drive and there's plenty to do that I think you'd like. Awesome hole-in-the-wall ramen place that's super low key."

And they make it just as spicy as he likes it, too! Still, if it's outside of Idia's comfort zone there's no helping it.

"Makes me wish I had a magical wheel or something." Not that he'd have been allowed to bring it on campus if he did. And anyway he was more into skating. "But we can find tucked away places around here to hang out, too. I can think of a few places that are usually empty."

"Wish I had my chariot..." Idia muttered to himself, meaning for it only for him to hear rather than Cater, but also not thinking that he shouldn't had said it, maybe getting a bit too comfortable around him now to not even consider it.

Should... should he do this? He would have to bring Ortho, right? For him to be close enough? Then again, Ortho would encourage him to go alone, he had already picked up something was different in Idia and just asked him outright and... well, Idia might have to tell Cater that sometime. He really can't hide anything from Ortho, even if he wanted to. Ortho was good at respecting Idia's privacy, but not if it might be a threat to him, and his brother acting differently was, well, off. So he had to tell him. Just, town would be far away for his 'bodyguard' to get to him if needed, then again, Ortho could fly faster than anything really around...

Hmmmm... plus, ramen and arcade, that's tempting... plus, well, maybe if it's off campus Cater would be more, well, Cater, not Cay-Cay. Eehhhh.... "Ah, can, ah... we," Hmmm. "I heard some of the dorm saying there's an arcade there too... somewhere..." Not fully coming out and saying he wants to go... but he does.

Chariot...?

Although he does hear it and notes it, Cater just figures it's some kind of nickname he calls his own magical wheel or something and doesn't outright question it. He's already kind of resigned himself to the idea that Idia doesn't want to venture outside NRC's grounds, and is trying to brainstorm where they can chill in private when Idia speaks up again. Or, well, attempts to.

"Oh, yeah, the arcade! I've played some Groove Groove Rebellion there. It's not as big as a place you can find in the Shaftlands but or other big cities but it's still a blast. Some really fun racing games and dungeon crawlers, too." Plenty of fun he can think of to play with Idia directly, but if they went off and did their own machines, too, that would also be fine. "Actually, I'd kind of like watching you game in real time."

Oh. Oh, wow, that got a reaction, didn't it? Idia's eyes going wide for a moment, before relaxing again and a touch of a smile. Huh, yeah that, that might sound like fun. Although, "Don't put pressure on me to do that, you'll jinx me and I'll suck at them." Just the pressure of being watched in person.

Hmm, they were third years, it would be less difficult for them to head off campus than the other years, but even still... "You even going to be able to, consider, well, your Tyrant?" Yeah, not sorry Riddle, but you got the reputation for a reason. Hell, so does Idia, but in the 'never comes out of his room' reputation, so him leaving the school... ehh, it'll be a thing. Not like it's anyone's business what he does or where he goes.

Cater puts his free hand to his chest, looking mock aghast. "The great Gloomurai, sucking at a game? Impossible!"

He's still grinning when Idia brings up Riddle, but he does a one-shoulder shrug as he tosses another snack into his mouth. "Nah, it's fine. As long as I'm not causing trouble or have other responsibilities to take care of he doesn't mind us going into town." Almost conspiratorially, he adds, "if we promise to bring him back something from the local pâtisserie, he goes totally soft about it."

"Yeah, no, totally possible." Well, maybe not totally horrible at them, Idia has a good understanding of game mechanics across most genres, just... being watched irl makes it totally different.

Idia opens his own snacks, a wave of a finger letting his drink float down to the ground so he could grab it later and have both of his hands free to eat. "Eh, thought would be some... weird rule or something. Like... gotta go backwards to go forward or... something." It sounds like something that would be in Heartslabyul's rule book.

Hmmm, so... "Ah... this, ah, weekend then?" Idia's tone making him sound not so sure, as if doubting this all, but also... he's still asking as if going to do this, right? Munching away on a couple of those snacks as he rubs his fingers together where he had held the snacks, trying to brush the crumbs off his fingers. "Ah, hot." He gets out between holding a snack between his teeth before crunching down on it.

"I'll believe it when I see it."

All teasing aside, it's hard for Cater not to be excited, and he does his best to keep it a bit more low key. The last thing he wants is to make Idia regret pursuing this and cancelling abruptly. A smile is stuck on his face as he nods along.

"He used to be worse about that kind of thing, but lately..."

Since he went full overblot, but Cater's not about to talk about that to anyone who wasn't there when it happened. "Well, he's chilled out a lot. Really realized that he was making everyone miserable in Heartslabyul and is trying to do better. I mean, he still encourages us to follow all those nonsense rules but it's not all off with your head when you don't have all 800 memorized or aren't really willing to sleep on your head when the moon's full or whatever." Enough about Riddle, though.

"This weekend," Cater agrees. And then, without thinking: "It's a date."

Hmmm, yeah, if Idia thinks about it Riddle has seemed to chill out. A bit. Not a lot. He was still bossy as all hell, but well, organized, and Idia can appreciate it. Just not when it's aimed at him. He does things in a different way to how Riddle works, and he would still get the same outcome, just take a different path. Riddle can also be super full on sometimes. And a lot of stuff goes over his head... and not just in the physical sense. He needs to get out more, and that's saying something coming from Idia.

There's a pause with how Cater worded that, before, "Pffftt, ok." Idia not taking it seriously at all as he assumed it was a slip of the tongue by Cater. One he could tease him about, but, eh, not really feeling it. Maybe over IM later, but not in person, shoving another couple of snacks in his mouth before once again cleaning off his fingers and bending down to grab his drink. "Eh, guess I should actually start on my project. You on tonight?" Not outright asking about streaming, just in case someone does hear them, though Idia is pretty sure no one is around at this time, but they are in front of the vending machines so who knows.

Later, he'll think back on how the conversation went and wildly overthink every piece of it. For now, his mood is too good to dwell on anything. He nods. "Yeah, in about an hour--oh, hey, I didn't want to overstep since it's your thing and all, but would it be cool with you if I streamed the MMO you introduced me to? I've been wanting to level a bit more."

And, naturally, most of his online time is also his streaming time. Cater's never going to be an intense gamer like Idia, but he's been having enough fun lately that he'd like to spend a bit more time. Still, it somehow feels like something he shouldn't do without permission, even if the two of them hadn't been playing it together.

Oh, oh. Oh. "Ah, yeah, yeah, just... I won't help out during it, sorry. Name too known in it..." A pause then... "Ah fuuuccckk," Idia whined out, "I should had used a different username for streams, not my account name. Fuck." Ehh, he had a whole website linked to that name too. What an amateur move. "Eh, whatever, done now." Not like he can change it at this point. "Sure, sure, have fun. Careful of stream snipers if you go PVP mode." Because of course that's a thing that happens.

Oh, "I think there's an event on for lower levels right now, should make the most of it. Get some unique appearance items and XP boost." Then... hmmm, "And, ah... if you get stuck, let me know, can jump on." Where's all that talk from before, Idia? Then again, he wants Cater to have fun in it, and hey, he can easily carry if Cater wants the help, or to show areas he might not know already.

"Eeeeh, I didn't think about that! It's not a big deal, really! I'm happy to stick to off stream." Idia, or Gloomurai at least, is the one who introduced it to him, after all. "I'd rather be able to play it with you sometime than put you in a weird position."

He shrugs, not terribly bothered either way. "It would've been something new, anyway, since my channel is more music than gaming--and everyone likes the party style games I host where everyone has opportunities to jump in."

Hmm the thing is, Cater had a point, Cinder was music more than games, though still games, but he has a target audience. However, "It's your stream, you should do what you find fun. If people don't like it, who cares." And if Cater was doing it for madol then he wasn't going about it the right way, there was a lot of better ways to make it than how he is.

...ehhhh, a sigh then. "I-I'll help. I'll run as bodyguard for you. Doubt people will try something if I'm around. And if they do, I'll handle them." Might be fun to wipe the floor with some stream snipers actually. Be real funny to have it clipped with their names on stream. Though, hmm, if they gaming they would have to talk, which was fine in typing but, well... Cater had shown Idia it was easier to chat over voice chat while gaming. But he's only done that with Cater, not anyone else, even Crimson Muscle. Idia really didn't want his voice out there online.

Maybe he could... heh, yeah, ok, lets see how Cater reacts to this later. "Let me go prep some stuff for it, ok? I'll see you when you start up stream."

You're not just other people, is the thought that comes immediately to Cater's mind. Even as Gloomurai, he was a standout in Cinder's audience, more than just a viewer or fan. As Idia, that distinction was even more prominent. He shakes away the thought, not knowing what to do with it, exactly, and scratches the back of his leg with the opposite foot.

"If you're sure! As long as you're having fun, too," he says, not certain exactly what it is Idia's planning. Cater's noticing he has a habit of that: thinking out loud, but only giving half the context. "Sounds good. I look forward to seeing you there!"

It's kind of nice, knowing that they can keep hanging out, even if it's in a much different capacity.

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