flameinthedarkness

Ehhhh, as much as he didn't want to... Idia had slipped off his headphones during this, leaving them to rest around his neck. Just so he knows what is going on. Not that he wants to... but he also doesn't want to panic and run too, despite it being his first reaction. He had asked Cater here, he didn't want to just run after trying to do this. As much as he wants to! Ehhhh, he's such an idiot. Why couldn't he be cool enough to play it off?! Why does he have to be him...?

Then a tension to Idia's shoulders, more than there had been before. Ehh... he hates this. Why do others have to find out? That stiffness holds in his form for awhile, before a very heavy sigh from behind the book, shoulders slumping again as that pink starts to fade, his tone no longer panicked but... quiet, "...yeah, it does..." Idia having no clue Cater was leaning in like that.

Without thinking, Cater reaches to try and touch one of those pink ends poking out. He's going to regret this later, going to feel guilty and awful and embarrassed. But right now? "But it's so pretty..."

The thought comes unbidden, disappointed to see the color fade so quickly.

Ehhhh, Idia's lip turning up again, but not in upset this time, his brow dropping as he moves to glare over his book at Cater, snapping, "No it's fucking NOOTT-WHAT THE FUCK?!" However it's cut off seeing Cater firstly so close, and second reaching out for his hair, Idia throwing himself backwards in his chair and leaning back as far as he can, hugging the book to his chest now.

"What are you doing?!" That panic back, eyes wide. "What kind of idiot tries to touch fire?!"

Also, hi, library, right? Clearly this is the perfect pitch of voice to have in such a quiet place.

"I--I, uh--!" Startled by the sudden volume, Cater's hands fly up and away from him, his own eyes wide as well. Having been halfway out of his chair, he stands fully, nearly tripping backwards over it. This, of course, only adds more noise to the mix, and a few students from elsewhere let out violent shushes in protest.

Cater gulps. "Sorry," he all but wheezes as he tries not to be too loud, fiddling with his own hair again. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"Eh!" OH GODDDSSS that had been loud, hadn't it? Idia having not even considering his volume in his panic, a shake to his hands as he first clamps a hand over his mouth, it quickly shifting to cover his eyes as he tries to calm down, his other hand gripping tightly at the edge of his sleeve.

How the hell did this happen? If he had just focused and kept working it wouldn't had. And... well... he can't blame Cater, for any of this. From being weirded out at Idia staring, to being curious over his hair. If Cater's hair had suddenly changed or he... Idia doesn't know, sprouted horns or something? Yeah, Idia would be curious too. Like, wtf is happening, what's going on, how did you do that, kind of thing. So while there's still a shake to his form, eventually, "It's fine." His tone flat as he spoke. It's not fine but... it is.

"It's fine."

Cater's own heart is hammering in his throat as he sits back down and scoots himself in. He feels like he needs to say something, but...Idia's clearly mortified, and for good reason. Even putting aside his actions, how would he have felt if they'd been accosted by someone and seen together? Would he have totally sabotaged whatever kind of friendship this had been turning into?

"It isn't really," he murmurs ducking his head down and tapping his pen against his notebook in agitation. "I'm not a kid. I know better. I should keep my hands to myself."

"...yeah, it isn't," Then a huff as Idia dropped his hand, slumping in his chair. He wasn't looking at Cater yet, but, well, he's not hiding behind his hands anymore, so baby steps. "But it's fine." Before speaking his earlier thoughts. "I mean, if you suddenly... I donno, randomly changed colors somehow I would be curious too." There. But also, "Less grabby though."

A tap of his finger against his leg before, "...I wanna get out of here." Moving to close up his books he was using and stacking them on the table. Normally Idia would put them back but... yeah, not today. "Were going to grab snacks, right?" Honestly, he could do with some sugar right now after that. And also to just get out of the Library and those within it.

As Idia announces his intent to leave, Cater feels himself start to deflate. Unsurprising. Of course he'd want to get away from him after that stupid stunt.

Only...then Idia says he wants to go get snacks, still, and that is a surprise. "R...really? I mean, uh...yeah. We were."

He gathers his own things, as well, standing. Taking a breath, his dumbfounded expression snaps to an easygoing Cay-Cay smile so quickly it's obviously unnatural. But, hey, nobody but Idia is around to see him take his mask off and on, so what's the point in being careful.

"Okay! My treat."

Ok, ok, good? Like, Idia hadn't scared Cater off with that, though... right now he's a little numb to caring if he did or not. Well, maybe not fully numb, but a lot, having grabbed the few supplies he had and shoved into his pockets while his computer instantly moved along with him as they left. Feeling himself wanting to sink into somewhere dark, it's the sudden presence of Cay-Cay that stopped that spiral, a pause from Idia before a slight shake of his head at it.

"Yeah, you better after that." His tone still low, but not quite devoid of emotion as it had been before. Maybe even the slightest touch of humor in it. Then asking, "Vending machine?" He's not sure he wants to deal with the cafeteria right now, or Sam's. The less interaction the better.

"Ha! Of course!"

He doesn't feel in tune with this at all right now, way worse than usual, but what choice does he have? At least one student is going to see them walking out together, and if Cater doesn't look like he's pestering the hell out of Idia, rumors would definitely spread.

"I know one pretty close by that doesn't get much foot traffic, and it should be pretty quiet at this hour."

Mostly for show, he pulls out his phone to tap on it as they make their way out of the library. As soon as they're at their destination, he'll let his face fall back to its neutral state again.

He's grateful for Cater first considering that, and second for mentioning it, a brief, "Good." From him to confirm that's what he wanted in regards to a more quiet area. Maybe another time, a later time, Idia would consider what even was the issue with them being seen together... but not today.

And seeing that act Cater quickly put on... Ehh, yeah, last thing Idia needs is more talk about him behind his back. Though he may also be greatly overestimating it, his mind always believing it was there even if it wasn't. How could it not be? The fact he rarely shows up around campus and now mixed with being around Cater, yeah, he can just imagine. Yet it takes a moment to realize what Cater is doing and... huh, unable to stop himself from muttering out, "Isn't that a pain to do?" Once they had gotten out of the Library and no one seemed to be around.

Just in case they run into anyone along the way, Cater keeps the act going...or, well, he intends to. But then Idia asks that question and the fraying tethers can't hold his mask in place. They snap, and he looks exhausted as he stares ahead of them. It's quiet, save for the sound of their footsteps.

It would be best if he didn't answer. He could easily pretend he didn't even hear what Idia had said. Doable enough to just lie and say it wasn't a big deal, or make some kind of comment about how he had no idea what Idia meant. The last one would be easy to call out, but it would set a boundary.

Setting up walls was what he did, after all, and it would be for the best to make sure he keeps them nice and fortified with Idia, when their relationship with one another was already so complicated. Their online chatter was more than enough, so what did he need any of this for, anyway? And yet...

"Yeah," he finally says in a small voice. "Some days I don't really have it in me to bother."

I'm such a fake.

...ah. A sigh, "I guess not everyone can be a shut in..." At least Idia can hide on the days he just doesn't want to deal with anyone. There were consequences to that, between having to be there digitally via his tablet, or having to play catch up with school work that had higher expectations on him than others, proving he wasn't falling behind. But... it was preferable to Idia. In contrast to that constant feeling he was being judged... he was at least safe in his room, even if he had to work more. And hey, he knows how to work, he's good at that.

He can't even imagine doing what Cater does.

But it doesn't mean he doesn't feel... bad? Hmm, was it bad? For pointing that out? He's not sure. It's... something at least. So in that same tone as that sigh had been let out in, "Yeah, well... you do it well?" That... that was a compliment? He thinks? He meant it that way. Even if it didn't come out that way.

Yeah, Idia doesn't know how to help cope with heavy stuff, at all, because he doesn't. He breaks down, freaks out, then forces himself out of it and carrying on. What he does know though, "...my hair goes orange as well." Is distraction. So here, Cater, him throwing out a line for you to grasp onto and forget about stuff for a bit. "When I'm angry."

Torn between conflicting emotions, Cater lets out a puff of air, something between a chuckle and a sigh. "Thanks. I've had plenty of years to practice."

It doesn't make him feel better, but he gets it. For Idia, this is probably the most comforting response he can expect. Not that he was expecting anything or fishing for comfort, of course. It's weird enough already just letting someone see him as anything less than silly, laid back, clout-chasing Cater Diamond.

Slipping his phone back into a pocket, Cater fishes out some cash for the vending machine.

"Yeah? You get angry very often?"

The change in topic is appreciated.

Idia's reaction to that is subtle, but Cater is good on picking up subtle, especially if it's different to how a person normally is; a slight exhale of breath from Idia, the lightest 'ha' within it, but soft and easy to miss. A brief laugh. Not at Cater. But at his reply. Yeah, that's about right, isn't it?

"Oh, gamer salt is always real, even for me." Idia throwing that out there, trying to keep it casual, ignoring that it wasn't just trigger by anger. His nightmares were the main cause, when he couldn't force his brain to stop and it got away on him. "Plus... I can do it at will. Tease Ortho with it." Who found it very funny and not off putting at all. And Idia loved seeing Ortho happy and laughing.

"Takes a bit of the sting out of it, in that case." Cater smiles slightly, "I was gonna say I'd hate to see it if it meant seeing you pissed off, but maybe you'll feel like teasing me sometime."

He's trying to lighten the mood, but it's...it's odd, isn't it? He gives them both an out as they reach the vending machine. "Lollipop? Or in the mood for something different?"

"I don't even know how I would tease you." Really, not at all. Though maybe it's because Idia is now thinking about it in person, as he has been joking with him as Cinder and Gloom. But that was a different realm, that was online, not face to face, it was easier to put aside the fact you were talking to a person that way. Idia does realize he is not good with interacting with others, he just doesn't care. Normally. But, well, he doesn't want to say something that he thought was fine and turns out to be insulting to Cater. Ortho tells him he does that a lot, even if Idia doesn't realize he does. Like, well, just now with calling Cater out.

"Hmmm, oh, they got those spicy and sweet snacks left? The bright red ones?" Since he's not planning on handling books anymore, no need to worry about snack dust.

Cater laughs at that, even though it's just a statement. He's certain that Idia is now one of the few people who could really tease him, if only he wanted. "Oh, yeah, they do. Those sound pretty good, actually! I think I'll grab some for myself, too."

Sweet in minimal amounts is definitely fine, especially when it's paired with spicy. Being a hound for spicy foods, Cater's definitely up for trying anything with a spicy mixture. Selecting the product, Cater fishes out a bag for the both of them.

"Anything to drink?"

"The yogurt drink." Idia doesn't mind spicy, but also to counter if as needed, but these snacks were just too good even if spicy. That weird addictive mix of spicy and sweet. He may had even tried them due to Cinder's recommendation, found he liked them more than he thought he would. Just not while working. Too messy.

Waiting while Cater sorted the stuff out, Idia pauses to think... hmm, eh, should he say it? He really doesn't know. Was it too much? Ehhhh, but... well... he did kind of like this. Hanging out. Before... you know... he acted like a fucking idiot!

...maybe better not to for awhile. Ehhhhh...

"Um... about today..."

Switching to the drink machine, Cater grabs the yogurt drink for Idia and a canned coffee for himself. He passes it off before cracking open the top of his own. "Yeah? What's up?"

Cater tells himself to stay cool. Maybe Idia's going to say that this was a terrible idea and they shouldn't hang out in person anymore, and if that happens...well, Cater only has himself to blame. He's the one who got all weird, right?

Whatever happens, they'll still have their online friendship. Maybe it's for the best, even if he feels a stone dropping into his stomach.

Ehhhhhhhhhh... just spit it out! Get it over and done with! It's going to be cringe no matter what! So just get it done and out of the way! Idia's expression betraying his thoughts, though for Cater it may look like he's angry enough to just end this all, despite taking the drink when offered.

"...there was too many people." There, done. "I-If," Ehhh... "If there weren't, ah, I, ah... wouldn't had wanted to leave so quickly." Him snapping was one thing. But having others see him do so... that was worse. Idia doesn't care about losing his temper, he cares about others seeing how he is when he does, his gaze down on the drink Cater gave him, as he turns it around and around in his hands.

"...is it weird to want to hang out somewhere with... less people?" He really doesn't know. After all, isn't that kind of the point in meeting up in person? To be around people? He doesn't know.

When Idia finally manages to get his thoughts out, Cater can't help the surprised look that lights up his face. Surprise and then...relief. He grins, eyes crinkling. "No, that's not weird at all! I'd really like it if we could hang out again."

Hmm. It's hard to really find any space alone around NRC. There's always hustle and bustle, people scoping out good spots for magic practice, but that doesn't make it impossible. Thoughtful, Cater taps a fingernail against his coffee can.

"You ever go into town? It's way more low key than campus."

Town? Ah, "Ah, ah, um, no, I haven't..." Was it weird he hasn't? Then again, was it a surprise Idia hasn't? He barely comes out of his room, let alone leave campus. He hadn't even considered it! Though... he hears some in the dorm talking about stuff there. Like an arcade he's heard some go to, which... Idia's never been to one before. He thinks he would like to though. Just, ehhhh... it's SO far out of his comfort zone. Could he really go that far outside?

And even if he did consider it, "It's such a pain to get there..." The bus and all that.

"It's not that bad," Cater says with a shrug, breaking into his snack and taking a second to munch. "It's a pretty short drive and there's plenty to do that I think you'd like. Awesome hole-in-the-wall ramen place that's super low key."

And they make it just as spicy as he likes it, too! Still, if it's outside of Idia's comfort zone there's no helping it.

"Makes me wish I had a magical wheel or something." Not that he'd have been allowed to bring it on campus if he did. And anyway he was more into skating. "But we can find tucked away places around here to hang out, too. I can think of a few places that are usually empty."

"Wish I had my chariot..." Idia muttered to himself, meaning for it only for him to hear rather than Cater, but also not thinking that he shouldn't had said it, maybe getting a bit too comfortable around him now to not even consider it.

Should... should he do this? He would have to bring Ortho, right? For him to be close enough? Then again, Ortho would encourage him to go alone, he had already picked up something was different in Idia and just asked him outright and... well, Idia might have to tell Cater that sometime. He really can't hide anything from Ortho, even if he wanted to. Ortho was good at respecting Idia's privacy, but not if it might be a threat to him, and his brother acting differently was, well, off. So he had to tell him. Just, town would be far away for his 'bodyguard' to get to him if needed, then again, Ortho could fly faster than anything really around...

Hmmmm... plus, ramen and arcade, that's tempting... plus, well, maybe if it's off campus Cater would be more, well, Cater, not Cay-Cay. Eehhhh.... "Ah, can, ah... we," Hmmm. "I heard some of the dorm saying there's an arcade there too... somewhere..." Not fully coming out and saying he wants to go... but he does.

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