flameinthedarkness

Cater starts to write about how he gets that because of how often his family had to move around...but backtracks, deleting the message and starting over. Too much, he decides. Just asking more about Idia's interests is enough. He realizes that other than the obvious, what with all the gamer speak that Idia utilizes, he doesn't actually know the specifics about what his loner classmate is into.

I don't think it's weird. You've done a lot for me so I guess I think of you a bit differently, like someone I can come to for advice. Just lmk if I'm overstepping, K?

What is weird is knowing that he's telling the truth...while also knowing who he's talking to. If Idia realized who his real identity was, would he think that this was some kind of elaborate prank? The thought makes Cater frown, but he distracts himself from his own discomfort by checking out the blog.

this is p sweet Gloom! I like games but I usually only play on mobile. Is this one your fave?

That... did feel a little weird. A little. If this was IRL Idia would be freaking out. But over the net? Eh, less so. In a way he and Crimson Muscle has a similar relationship; Idia shared a lot with him more than he does with anyone irl. But they had also known each other a bit longer than Idia had been interacting with Cinder. Still,

It a bit weird, but yeah, it good. I'll let you know if so.

Why not? There was no real string attached here, and Idia had no intent on messing with Cinder if things went poorly. Provided Cinder didn't try to badmouth him. He would regret it if he did. Idia would be near impossible to track down online, but he doubted Cinder had the same security. In fact there is a moment of temptation to go hunting, hands moving to his keyboard to do so... then stopping himself. Nah, no need for that. Better just to enjoy this while it lasted.

TY. Yup, you have no idea how many hours I got in it XDD gotta make most of it while I can, wont be able to in a year or so. Mobile games are good too, easier to consume than MMORPGs. Those take so much time.

lol sorry

Seven, why does he feel so...awkward? Is it that it's Idia? Is it that he's realizing that honestly, who else would he ever ask anyone for any kind of advice from? Can't put that on anyone he knows in person, and online...well, he's kept those connections pretty shallow. Gloomurai's the only user that's ever really had more of a stake in him past what kind of felt like a fleeting interest.

you won't be able to keep playing games at all???? wtf why?

Huh. What's in a year or so? Graduation? But why would Idia have to stop playing a game he's invested this much time and energy into just because he's graduating?

...why was it so much easier to just let this out to a faceless being online? Idia's not an idiot, he knows there's a real person behind that model on stream, but the face was the animation they used, not the person controlling it. It would be so much harder to say it to a person who's face he knew. Or even to the model itself versus the text in front of him.

And... well, he wishes he could tell someone this all. To maybe prove he's not crazy for... all of it. But... he can't, even to a faceless being on the other side of the keyboard.

It takes awhile for him to answer... but eventually,

I gotta take over the family business. Will be too busy to dedicate the time to an MMORPG, at least at the level I play it now. And once you fall out of it and become casual it loses most of it's appeal.

There, that worked. It wasn't a lie, but it was a major understatement. Hell, even his fourth year will be an 'internship' back home. It would be pointless to go anywhere else since... it wasn't an option to Idia.

So making the most of it while I can.

There's a period where Cater wonders if he pressed too hard. He has to put his phone down while he waits for a notification, pulling his blankets up around him farther. Idia must be one of those people that has their whole life figured out--unlike him. Their internship year is looming ever closer and Cater still has absolutely no clue what he's doing or where he's going. Questions about it fill him with anxiety, and he generally just finds a way to avoid answering.

When the phone does chime, he's mostly expecting some sort of explanation on why he doesn't feel comfortable answering...so Cater's all the more surprised when he reads the text on the screen. He reads it a few more times, really taking the facts in, before figuring out what to say in response.

That's rough...it must be a crazy job if you're not going to have enough free time to dedicate to your hobbies.

There's an argument to be made about how "casual" gaming is just part of what being an adult means, but...that's not really what strikes home with Cater. It's just how hopeless the sentiment feels, like there's not really a point to any of it. Like such a big part of what makes him happy has such a short shelf life. He wishes he had something uplifting he could say but...he doesn't. In his own experience, what you personally want out of life rarely matters.

That's just the way the world is.

Is it hard to get started? I've never played an MMO.

You have no idea...

No one does. But that's the point of it. No one returns for the Island of Woe... or at least never remembers they do. And as much as Idia has accepted his role... the idea he will vanish from the world and be forgotten... somewhere deep down it still hurts. But he knows the consequences to go against fate. He's already paid too big a price for going against it before.

Slouching in his chair as he feels his mood drop, Idia fiddles with the pen he was using to draw with, lost in thought for a moment... then glad to see the conversation move on. Yeah, ok, right. Distraction. That's all he has to cope with this all. Distract himself from reality. This was all just a temporary dream as it was, he'll have to wake up from it soon enough.

Three years was too short.

A sigh as he shifted in his chair again, another mouthful of drink to get himself back into work mode as he types away.

Depends on the game. Good ones got good entry level options, but not all do. And some are for the 'hardcore' players. aka, assholes who wanna feel better than everyone else and rub it in people's faces.

Most older games can be an issue cause they gotta keep progressing for long time players so it makes it tough for newcomers to get into it without feeling overwhelmed. You really need someone to walk you through a game to really get the full feel of it. And if a game isn't engaging enough it can feel like a waste of time getting into it only to find it's boring or too repetitive.

It's a bittersweet feeling, moving onto an easier topic. Cater's not the kind of person who confides in others and as such generally keeps himself from being the kind of person to be confided to. It's uncomfortable--he knows he can't help. Still, it feels wrong, like he's purposefully turning a blind eye to something obviously troubling.

I want to try the one you blog about. It'll give us something to talk about. :)

Cay-Cay would just go right out and say they should play together, team up, etc. But Cinder knows how dedicated Idia is to this, and there's no way he can imagine being able to get anywhere remotely on his level to be so presumptuous. Just having a casual common ground might be nice, though, especially if this is his only chance to have that with the Shroud.

I won't ask you to hold my hand or anything lol

And here i was gonna offer to boost you and get you all sorts of gear and mats to help out www

In saying that,

It's worth just jumping in and enjoying it with fresh eyes rather than racing to top level. there's no point in playing a game like that, gotta enjoy the game itself, not trying to go full tryhard mode.

WWOOOOWWW lead with that next time! lol jk

Cater smiles to himself. It's actually a nice sentiment--he's curious to see if it's something he'll actually get into or not. Might be hard to find the time between all his other activities, maintaining his status as top social butterfly in NRC, but who knows. Cater likes trying out new things, especially when it's his own idea.

I'll set up my laptop to get things downloaded for when I'm free tomorrow and let you know how it goes (and try not to spoil myself too much on your blog in the meantime)

Edited 2022-12-18 06:17 (UTC)

ah I see how it is, just wanting $$$ off me www

Whether Idia's caught up in the joking of it all, or just not aware that may be taken as a negative thing, he doesn't seem to realize what implications may come from that. Really, money isn't an issue to him, just most don't know that. He really doesn't look like he's from money, not at first glance with how he dresses, but he does always has the latest tech and constantly using parts and materials to upgrade everything around him.

K. I'll be in game later tomorrow anyways, but that like 1am or so for raid timer rollover. You said you're on strict time so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ let me know when you set up a username and will add you.

In person, Cater would be able to play off such comments, joking or otherwise, with playful whining. It definitely hits a bit different with the way that Cinder and Gloomurai had so far established their relationship as idol and fan, so he's a bit more reserved when he responds, afraid to make things more awkward than he knows he already has with his overall pushing into Idia's personal life.

noooooo!!! ;;;;
okok I'll hit you up but nbd if we can't play together b/c of diff schedules :)
gonna go start the download and let you get to work
thanks for chatting with me

There's definitely a part of him that doesn't want to end the conversation there but...best not to push it.

k o/

Short and simple, about right for Idia. Plus what else is there to say? He also doesn't want to overstay the welcome either, just cause Cinder is happy to talk right now doesn't mean he can get too familiar with him. Idia's really not expecting much from it, but... it was fun.

And would continue to over time; still present in those streams as they went up, trade names in game, and maybe even a few items to help out but keeping to his word about allowing Cinder to enjoy the game at his own pace, but also helping out as needed. Over all... it's going really well. It has been fun! It's nice to have someone else to chat with online and not take stuff too seriously. Another good distraction from everything. He even gets to geek out and talk music with Cinder a bit, about other singers and bands, and of course once Idia got comfortable enough, gushing for his love of Premo.

But normal life did go on, and while Idia does try and spend most of those days inside his room, it's during one time out he finds himself being dragged to the Light Music Club by Lilia. Why is someone so small so strong!? Something about an amp or something electronic broken. Really, he's not getting much out of Lilia... and worried he or Kalim had touched it and made it worse. Sighhhh. Ok, fine, faster he gets it fixed, the better, trudging along to the club door behind the other third year. He can hear the other two inside, and music playing too, and singing, a pause as he recognizes the song and... the voice? Maybe? It's pretty similar but... he can't quite place it.

Not that he has much time to as Lilia barges into the door, a hand on Idia's arm dragging him along with him.

Even though their amp was malfunctioning, that wasn’t about to stop Cater and Kalim from jamming. As Kalim busted out a beat on the drums, Cater strung on his guitar and sang along, an upbeat sort of song good for high energy dancing. When he’s in the middle of a song it’s hard for him to pay much attention to the outside world, so even as Lilia bursts in with his typical roguish attitude Cater keeps singing.

Well, Kalim does end up throwing him off balance, eager to greet Idia, so the song does end up getting cut short. As he turns, there’s a look of surprise on his face and…something else? But Cater quickly puts on a big smile, waving.

“Hey, Idia! You got roped in to bail us out, huh?” He points his thumb toward the now unplugged amp on the floor. “It shorted out or something mid-song. We’re not really sure what the issue is.”

Any confusion Idia may had been showing on his face upon entering and spotting who was singing... only lasted a moment before it turned to panic at Kalim's joy aimed fully his way, trying to back away and put Lilia in between them. Godsdamnit this is why he didn't want to do this! Plus what was he getting out of this all?!

In a way he's glad for Cater getting this back on track, "Yeah, yeah... I guess..." Idia grumbles out, then... hmm, that questioning coming back again. It did sound super familiar. And it's not like he's around this club at all, unless its in passing to his own. They were both Culture Clubs after all. But still, maybe he's just remembering them performing before?

Once again it's Kalim to save the day, adding in his own commentary on what had happened, and adding, and adding, and adding, and, "Ok! I got it! I got it!" An annoyed huff out before, "I-I'll have a look..." He's not winning this battle at all, is he? Whatever, get it done with then he can go, shuffling over to the amp to see what was going on.

Cater laughs as Kalim takes over the conversation, running a hand through his hair as he unslings his guitar and sets it down. It’s so bizarre seeing Idia in their little club…but of course, he’s hardly there by choice. That gives him an idea, so as Idia sets up to take a look at their machine Cater brings it up.

“Hey, so after we’re done with music for the day we usually just kinda chill with snacks. How about joining us? Sharing our treats is the least we could do in return for you taking the time.” Naturally, Kalim and Lilia seem excited by the idea and Kalim’s already listing all the sweets he brought along for the day. Cater would feel a little badly if he wasn’t looking forward to the idea of spending more time with Idia in person.

Maybe he’s tiptoeing a line, but their online chats have been a bright spot to his evenings—a nice way to de-stress before bed. It’s hard not to want to experience that in a more physical setting…but of course, he has to remember that the person Idia is talking to online might as well be a complete stranger compared to Cater.

After checking the basics on the surface and the cord itself, and, well, turning it off and on again... because that's normally the issue... but finding that it was not working, Idia's pulling the main panel off it to look inside, searching around in one of the pockets of his oversize coat to pull out a slim tool set he always carried on him. How did they even do this? Eh, it was an easy enough fix, but it's such bad gear! He could so improve this! Hell, he could do it now, but if he could get his hands on a list of parts that started running through his head... he could make it amazing. Right now he could only increase it's efficiency by about four times. Far too low for his standards.

Searching out the tools he needed, he did note he was being talked to but tried to ignore it. Only to drop the tool at that question, his eyes going wide in panic as he stumbled over his words, "W-w-w-what?!" NO! Why would he want that?! He tries to avoid them! Why would he want to sit down and eat snacks with them!?! Kalim was pure torture for Idia! Cater was a bit better, but still snapping pictures with that camera all over the place. And Lilia... ughhhh. He tired his best to look innocent, but he really, really wasn't.

He can't do this! Wait! Wait! He actually has an excuse, "I-I-I got my own club, you know! Azul's going to be angry enough I'm late doing this!" He 100% is going to use Azul to get out of this!

For a second, Cater's face falls as Idia provides what's actually a pretty legitimate excuse. "Ah, yeah, guess it can't be helped," he starts as he smiles again as if unaffected. "Maybe some other time--"

Except that Kalim cuts in, proclaiming that they can just invite Azul, too. Lilia agrees that it's a great idea (looking particularly mischievous about it), and before any additional protests can be voiced...Kalim straight up bolts out the door to go and find Azul. Well, that's Kalim for you. Once he gets an idea in his head, nothing short of Jamil's ire is going to stop him.

"Guess that settles it!" Even though Cater seems cheerful enough about the turn of events, he rubs a hand on the back of his neck and shoots a slightly apologetic glance at Idia. He's getting what he wanted, but especially what with how friendly they've been online lately (however one-sided) he can't help the slight guilt at this turning into a whole production.

Oh thank gods... he's safe.

...until that. Until that. Idia would like to think he could count on Azul to take the hint, to realize what is going on and to stop this from happening... and he would understand, he would get what is going on. But would allow it to happen. Partly out of spite just to Idia because he could, but mostly to try and make better connections to Kalim. It's times like these Idia wished Azul knew who he was... he could so easily bribe him to get out of this... Azul ran on money, and Idia had plenty of that.

Idia's shoulders slumped as Kalim catapulted himself out of the door, turning back to continue his work, a rather soft 'ffffuuuucckkkk' under his breath at this all. How did it turn out like this?! He's still fiddling away with the fixes when Azul is brought back with Kalim, that well practiced smile in place and that happy, over the top tone that spoke of Azul knowing he could benefit from something. As well as a game in hand which Idia recognized as one they were planning to try out today. And which could handle five players, Idia shooting an annoyed look to Azul for going along with this all, only to get that smile back that told him Azul knew exactly what he was doing.

Idia's done with the amp by the time the others set everything up, having debated over taking his time and really drawing out the repairs... then worried that Kalim or Lilia or one of them would come over and check what was taking him so long. Placing his tools back away and checking the amp over to make sure it was operating, Idia shuffled over to where they were seated, not looking at all thrilled at this. Ughh, where was the least annoying place to sit? After a few moments of silent debate, he drops himself down somewhere between Azul and Cater, tugging on the edges of his sleeves to partly cover his hands out of nervousness. He wants to be as far way from Kalim and Lilia as possible.

Cater doesn't have a lot of experience dealing with Azul. He knows about his tendency to make deals, knows his grades are just a notch below Riddle's, knows...generally that it's best to keep off his radar. Anyone that sharp has a better likelihood of being able to read him, and that's not something that Cater appreciates. The only thing to be done is to go full ham, he thinks, and once Idia sits between him and Azul and the board gets set up, he gushes over it.

"Ahhh, so cute! Look at all the pieces. #NRCgamenight #popclubftboardgameclub #whatatwist about to go viral with this setup!" But just as fast, he's whining playfully over the instructions, claiming that it seems "totes hard to keep track of."

Anyone paying attention though will find that despite his behavior and claims of struggling, Cater doesn't have any actual problems following the game's rules. Where Kalim is clearly getting confused and overwhelmed but not seeming to be bothered by it and Lilia overall taking a backseat and laughing...Cater's doing remarkably well. He flashes Vs and cute exclamations of surprise when he's set himself up in good positions--

--until he abruptly makes a poor choice, all but tanking his standing on the board. "Aw," he complains, "looks like an L for me. And I was doing so well! Fs in the chat, fam."

For how annoyed Idia looks and is feeling as this starts, as it goes on he does relax a bit as the attention turns more towards the game play itself. It doesn't take him too long to work out how to play, though it would take multiple sessions to find the most successful way to play, but that's not important right now. Plus Idia's never been one to be really concerned about winning a game, unless it's against someone like Azul and his ego inflating with each win. Got to keep putting Azul in his place and not get too much self-importance over it all. He even tries to help out Kalim as the game continues, reminding him of the rules and how to set up his side of it, but also not holding his hand enough and allowing him to lose pieces for his own choices.

And maybe a rant or two about game theory, how games should be easy to learn but difficult to master, getting a sigh and argument going between he and Azul for a few minutes over their different preferences in games. And maybe throwing Azul's dice cheating back at him, Idia not planning to ever let him live that down. Other times he'll sit quietly as others chat, moving his pieces and playing his turn silently and the occasional snack chomping as he feels like it.

The use of gamer lingo at Cater's lose gets a 'pffft' from him between his teeth and even a bit of a smile, "Sucks to suck." Studying the board to see the changes to it with another player out, still, "GG though, for first time playing."

"What can I say? I'm no match for a top-tier gamer, you know?" He laughs, feeling Lilia's eyes on him and just beaming wider in response. Whether or not he's being fake, Cater's hardly a sore loser or a spoilsport, so he continues to take pictures as the game progresses. It's not much of a surprise that the actual members of the board game club are the ones that seem to be going hardest.

Though some of that certainly seems to be sheer stubbornness on Azul's part. And Lilia seems to mostly just be enjoying the show.

Kalim, of course, is a constant cheerleader, not seeming to mind that he didn't stand a chance...and when the victor is finally determined, Cater joins in on the cheering. "Yeah! Awesome W!"

And in the end... Azul did end up winning as it came down to him and Idia, Idia accepting it with a shrug and a 'GG' to Azul too, even if he got that smug smile back at him, but able to return it with one of his own. This was about normal for them when one of them won. With a comment from Azul on the time and a check of his own phone to confirm it, Idia helped with the clean up of the board, before realizing, "Oh, hey, someone check to make sure the amp is fine for you." He doesn't want to be dragged back here if it isn't up to the Club's standards.

Then adding, "Don't put it up as loud as you normally do." Having not heard how the amp was before Idia really can't compare his mini upgrades to know how much it's improved, he would need one of them to tell him. "I upgraded it a bit."

Lilia offers immediately to be the one to check, but Cater steps in quickly, knowing how Lilia can tend to wail on his bass...sometimes in a way too literal fashion. Wouldn't want Idia's hard work to immediately turn into someone's eardrums getting blown out. "Really went above and beyond, huh?" He grins as he plugs in his guitar, slinging it over his shoulder and turning the amp to a low volume.

When he strums a few idle chords, the sound that comes through is clear, enough for him to let out a low whistle. "Dude, it sounds incredible! You really did work some Ignihyde magic on it!"

For all he grumbles, Idia really is amazing, isn't he? It's hard for Cater not to appreciate his talents when he's seeing them up close and personal. He's about to thank Idia a final time so the loner can finally make his escape when Kalim asks for a song. You know, the one you've been practicing from that band you've been really into lately. What were they called?

"Oh, uh," Cater starts, feeling an edge of panic at the question what with Idia still being in the room. There's an excuse already on his tongue when Lilia, damn it, chimes in with a blissfully innocent: I believe Cater's been referring to them as Premo.

And Cater's face goes red.

"Ehhh," Idia lets out in dry and lackluster tone, not really one to take compliment at all. He doesn't believe them, sees them only as mocking, and even if he did believe they were real he has no way to actually process praise put on him. Other than Ortho. Ortho always tells him how amazing he is. "Not really. I only used what was there. If I had parts I could improve it even more." If anything, Idia's disappointed by not being able to do more. It's such a waste. "Why is your gear so crap?"

Idia really doesn't care what song they pick, just as long as he can confirm everything is working right, and won't blow out again if pushed too far. So he's mostly ignoring the group trying to pick a song, until a very specific name pops up. Premo... Precipice Moirai, really?! Oh, he loves them so much! His eyes lighting up at the mention of them, but for them to mention it, for Cater to know it...

He lets out a scoff, "I didn't think normies like you would know them." Yeah, better to assume they just heard it in passing and are not real fans. No reason to get excited over the idea others have discovered how amazing they were, to be able to get their lyrics and the depth to them... all while Azul is shaking his head at this, Please don't get him started on them..., Azul having heard Idia's rantings and ravings on them in the past.

Kalim, bless his heart, makes things worse in the most cheerful way possible. Oh, yeah, it's all Cater wants to play lately! and Lilia laughing with a, They're quite the popular band, aren't they? This isn't the first time I've heard of them, lately.

Azul is giving him such an easy out, and it would be so, so smart of him to take it. Or, hell, he could just start belting out anything else and Idia would probably leave none the wiser to his secret. But everyone seems to be looking at him, and it was actually really nice seeing Idia having so much fun playing games. He'd all but shut back down as soon as things were packed up, but his interest is clearly piqued.

Of course it would be. Gloomurai is the one who introduced Cinder to Precipice Moirai.

"Pick a song of theirs, then," he decides on a dangerous impulse, adjusting his guitar. "You fixed the amp, so you get a request."

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coin flipped to find winner XD

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